Sacred

Bundled up in a pretty pink flannel, a perfect winter day  born on a sweltering summer night, oblivious to the perils of the world that she had arrived in, to all the pain and heartache that awaited her.

Days turned to months and yet she had no name, dolly or baby anything would do. Till one day a distant relative came to visit, looked at the girl and named her, “like the moon.” Little did she know what an impact these syllables will have on that infant’s life, how she will forever have this urge to look up at earth’s satellite with awe and wonder. How through all the turbulence in her life she will derive her strength from that lunar body suspended in that vast expanse. Or maybe it was pre ordained that this girl will forever be drawn to the moon like the tidal waves, losing her sense of reality, in its cold blue light.

The first time she had to change her name, she realized how much she loved it. How much her name complete with her surname described her, defined her. She never before realized that it was not two names rather one entity.  She realized that she bore that name with pride but this new name, who was this person?  She couldn't relate to her. She felt alien in her own body when it was called, she didn't like it. She couldn't own it.

Many moons later she sat there on the roof of her father’s house, scarred and battle weary and looking at that moon promised herself that no one will again take her identity away, “no one will divorce me of me; no one shall take my name.” 

Purgation

Unable to continue any further, she fell to her knees. A long drawn prayer escaped her lips, “I will not continue to live in shame, I refuse to.Either it’s a life of honor and dignity or nothing. I will not, I will not”. It was a supplication and yet none off her words were submissive. It was as if her soul was on fire and she wanted her cries to pierce through space and carry each laden word to His throne.

She had paid heavily for the gamble, paid for it with her soul. She gripped the soil in her hands as she spread them on the ground, palms upturned like those of a beggar, she begged and then felt them forming into clenched fists." The sun will rise in the east and set in the west but not without Your will. Turn this dreary night into a bright day, let the sun of a new day throw its light on my dark soul, let me be risen from these ashes like the Phoenix. Dear God, help me, help me attack this jabberwocky and slay him, for he has me as captive in his tower of shame. Let my sins melt away and purgate me. ”

"Give me a sign", she whispered," give me a sign", she moaned.

At the exact moment when she raised her head from the ground, she felt the oppressive weight crushing her soul lifting, making way for light and she knew then. He had heard and He had accepted.