The Curious Case of the Left Liberals

It is interesting, these labels.

The Centrist, Rightist, Leftist, Marxist, Fundo all these categories that we have created to identify various diasporas of people. I have been toying with political theories in my own naïve way and rested on the conclusion; based on available facts, that in most cases my ideologies confer with the leftists and the liberals, hence I must be one of the creed. However, every year I am subjected to scrutiny and a lot of raised eyebrows by my fellow leftists. The reason to them is fairly simple; left liberals cannot worship deities. Religion and rituals have no place in a world of hard facts.

And so it is, this saga starts with the dawn of the Ramadan moon; for in every way otherwise I conform to your usual urban leftist’s idea, of what it is like to be; well an “urban leftist” in Islamabad. So its Ramadan and we meet and the usual questions, “you are fasting? why You still believe in Santa Clause and Cookie Monster?”, or “ it’s because you grew up in the 80’s Pakistan, Zia’s Pakistan and you are oh so confused still about religion, cause your head is poisoned with State controlled syllabus”….

I don’t know or care about the labels, really. My ideology of life can range from anything to everything, what I practice is my selection of values and beliefs that work for me. The one thing I understood about the Liberals was this, freedom to be who you want to be, belief in the right of the person. I understood that they are people who are open to ever changing ideas about everything in life, open to new cultures and tolerant of differences in others. They believed in the right of the individual to express one’s self in any way possible, so far so good. But why these Islamabadi liberals are threatened by my personal choice to practice religion baffles me. It will be far more acceptable to them if I do drugs to deal with the shit in life, but pray…lo and behold, is next to treason. Some of them, I believe, actually think it’s a very middleclass and unfashionable thing to practice any form of religion(which btw has nothing to do with being a leftist or not). The skeptic’s however, will throw in my face many arguments as to why I am completely deluded in my beliefs.

My question is very simple, if I am not threatened by their secular humanist way of life, how come my beliefs are unsettling to them. How vain to think that we have figured it all out, have all the facts lined up; when science is a process of continuous questioning and discovery. Everything is possible, because our beliefs make it so. If my praying gets me through my anxieties, depressions and keeps me calm without a dose of anti depressants and pain medication, how can it be bad in any way? .Besides,a truly open mind would be open to myriad of ideologies of life, just because you don’t believe in something doesn’t mean it isn’t true for the believer.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane, by those, who could not hear the music- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

 

Imagine

I have a riddle that needs an answer. Every now and then it surfaces in my head and keeps floating around; It has me guessing a thousand answers... What I call a riddle may be a simple matter for a lot of people; rather it is a very simple matter.

 Is ones pride bigger than every other positive emotion that one feels? Should a notion of my own importance be the impediment to my own happiness? And is it better for me to wallow in a self inflicted misery so that I can make others more miserable, who mean something to me? How sadistic it is to derive pleasure by licking my own wounds, and denying myself a measure of peace, to continue in a manner that hurts me and the people I care for….but most importantly; is it better to have stuck to my own point however wrong or right then to maybe, bow a little and admit that there are a thousand shades of reason. That there may be a place where both may be wrong and right and that maybe by letting go of the past one can truly embrace something better. I don’t mean that every crazy person who treats you bad needs this altruistic treatment, No. But I believe that being emphathetic to a person who cares for you, does not make you appear weaker.

Alas! I rant… in real life,” sorry” is the hardest word. It is far easier to pick up and leave then to untangle a crazy bag of knots. There are very few people who genuinely matter in one’s life and to lose those to a false notion of pride would be to lose a lot in the end. Everyone seems dispensable and replaceable when we are young; a lot of people found and then lost, but I fear that as we progress in life, we realize the importance of those who really cared. There are a few nuggets of gold that I have and for them my Pride doesn’t stand a chance; I fear that the regret and resentment that I would have on losing them, when the time is lost to make amends, will be much worse than any blow to my ego today. Does that make me look needy and desperate to them, the answer is no. Since these few know that this feeling stems from a genuine regard. For me life cannot be lived playing mind games, I am not weak to be scared of getting hurt, for some you have to tread an extra mile.....but this is my philosophy and hence my problem. Since I cannot play this field I constantly find myself on the losing end.

So I continue to wonder why most of us have this myopic view of life.Where each of us carries our own personal cross of pain and suffering, how much better it would be if we could alleviate that pain somewhat, by being less severe, on the ones who care for us and most importantly by being less severe on ourselves.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

 – John Lennon from “Imagine”