Cross Roads

Many Years ago, I was faced with a crucial decision. Since I deemed myself too young, I decided to formulate a Council of seven people. People who I believed had my best interest at heart and knew me well enough to take a decision on my behalf. I further fool proofed the process by soliciting Divine guidance by the popular methods employed at the time.

The Council and the Divinity pointed in one direction; here it is worth mentioning that in the first “Blink” moment my instincts guided me against it. Regardless of the fluttering in my stomach I overruled my gut by sheer rationale; The Council and the Divinity cannot be wrong, I am young and my experience limited.

The outcome of that decision was a disaster. The shattering of one glass led to the subsequent shattering of all other glasses. I started a quest to know myself better, to know how I could have been so wrong in my judgment. This journey took me to many doors and one such door was that of a wise old man in Karachi. I arrived at his doorstep a tangled web of questions about life, about fate, about destiny. I kept asking, he kept listening; then asked me join him for a stroll in the courtyard of a mosque.

He said, “tell me, when you made that decision was your heart content?”, I fell silent. “See Allah has blessed you with many guides to light your way, you don’t need to seek Him in dreams or in books. All you need is to listen to your heart, if you make a decision and your heart is content; know it is the right decision to make, fear not the consequences, Dil ka itminan sub say bara Istakhara hai”. “Donot blame Allah for the bad decisions you make, He blessed you with a rational mind to think but a mind is prejudiced, listen to your instincts and you will never be led astray”.

The only person who is going to live with the consequences of your decisions is you, and where there are people who one should consult in matters of great importance, the only deciding factor in your life is your inner voice. I have made some pretty radical decisions since that day which seemed crazy and impractical at the moment but in hind sight they are the source of this inner strength that never ebbs. My mistakes are my own, my life not a borrowed ideology of someone else’s notion of right.

Society designs laws to curb this very impulse of honesty, whenever we lie to our-self it is only for the benefit of others, however a person not honest with oneself cannot expect life to embrace him. A person willing to let others take the helm of his life must live a borrowed life. To relinquish this precious freedom is a form of mental slavery so in grained in us that we keep looking around for approval.This approval will lead us down a secure path indeed but not necessarily the right one.